Tree of Life

There is something so strange about the way humans grow up. It seems that we are the most content within our first and last years here. During both periods we look at the time that proceeds us and notice that we are free to just, do. To live and to coexist with the big and wonderful world around us. As I look out my bedroom window everyday, I notice towering trees that surround the property, still identical to when my parents moved there in the 70s. Even the same birdhouse hangs on one.

When I was little, nature always enthralled me. There was so much to discover and so much time to do it. I had endless curiosity that came with, some surprisingly deep, questions about life. My parents could sometimes educate me, but at some points they couldn’t. They were still figuring things out too, but they just didn’t know it.

When we grow up, we lose that curiosity. We gain the capacity to overthink small events, and compare ourselves to others. I fell victim to this idea around Middle and the beginning of High School. I got social media, lost friends, isolated more, and was no longer that girl I had been. I misplaced that affinity for life. In the beginning of last year I went through a difficult time that changed everything. It isn’t until you are restrained that you long for those little freedoms. As soon as I was put down and told that I wasn’t capable, that was the moment where I looked into the darkness and smiled at it. I found that girl I lost. Realizing that just as those towering trees, I hadn’t changed. I was still strong although sometimes I lost parts of myself. As humans we are always losing small leaves, and at other times we lose large branches that support more than we know. It’s truly miraculous how one storm can break away something that had been growing there for years. But in the end, everyone's branches slowly grow back over time. Mine grew back as all those personality traits that girl I once was, had lost. Curiosity, happiness, discovery, strength, and will. That girl is me. She has always been me. And she’ll continue to always be me.